DO forget your "type."
"It worked for me. When I met Dwyane, his 'résumé' looked like crap: athlete, going through a divorce, nine years younger than me. None of that screamed, 'Let's have a lasting relationship.' Then, after I had a heart-crushing breaking with yet another immature jerk, I thought, it can't be any worse if I date a fetus. Let's just see what happens. Turned out he'd been on his own since he was 15. He had wisdom that comes with facing an insane amount of adversity. He's sweet, funny, honest about his shortcomings. When I put my preconceived notions to the side, I found someone cool."
DON'T put up with a friend-versus-boyfriend tug-of-war.
"Some friends act possessive and say, 'You're not spending enough time with me.' Huh? Remember when we made our vision boards and the dude was in the middle? You're sup- posed to be happy for me. Thankfully, my girls are like, 'High-five!' And D likes to be around them too. If there's weirdness, either something's wrong with the friends—or the boy. Investigate. And sift accordingly."
DO show him your feelings. Daily.
"Dwyane generally gets up before I do to go to the gym, and he's never left without kissing me and telling me he loves me. As for me, I am complimentary to the point where I am almost a little Chester the Molester-y. I think he's so delicious. Watching him get out of the shower never gets old. Never. It's not like he ever wonders what I'm thinking, but usually he's thinking, She needs a cold shower!"
DON'T write off an ex (or get back together) without really thinking it through.
"When you're debating whether to go backward or forward, you have to look at the original issue. [When Dwyane and I broke up briefly in 2013], it was because of distance and scheduling. I finished filming the show, then I flew to Vegas right away to start shooting Think Like a Man Too. I couldn't take time off, and I missed some quality togetherness we desperately needed. Over the summer, I reassessed priorities. I'd always wanted an awesome career with back-to-back projects, but I realized I wasn't willing to sacrifice my relationship for it. Moving forward, I decided my work schedule has to make sense for our family. Bottom line: If an issue's a deal breaker, it's a deal breaker. If your relationship isn't something you're willing to give up and you can compromise, do so."
DO let your partner off the hook.
"I play Words With Friends at night, and often I'll fall asleep before I've had a chance to say good night. In the morning Dwyane will say, "If you're falling asleep, say good night. I don't like how it makes me feel when you don't." Then he's like: "But we're not going to make this a 'thing.'" He lets me off the hook, and I do the same: Is it annoying that he refuses to put the cap back on the toothpaste? Yes. But at the end of the day, I just screw it back on myself. It's a give-and-take."
DON'T rush into marriage out of fear of dying alone.
"I got married at 28 because my friends were getting married, starting to have kids—and, in my mind, 26, 27 was old. I thought, I'd better jump on this because soon I'll be 30 and an old maid. And I chose wrong. You can't go by what your friends are doing or your family is influencing you to do. Think about this: Worst-case scenario, do you want to give this fool half of your money? As the person who had to write the check at the end of my marriage, had I thought about that, I'd have put more time into choosing the right person. And, yes, the wait can be scary—that feeling of "Am I always going to be watching TV alone, cooking for one; is my best friend my only real soulmate?" But the right person is worth the wait."
DO indulge your inner freak.
"Sometimes my girlfriends will mention sexting or certain positions as something they'd do only with a guy on spring break. They'll say, "You don't do that with someone you love." And I'll say, "That's who you're supposed to do it with." If I can do this awesome, amazing thing with some dude I met at a bar, why wouldn't I be able to do it with the person I love? If you're into it and he's into it and it's legal enough that the police aren't going be involved—then go for it! Do it. A lot."
On If She Considers Herself Beautiful:
"Not conventionally beautiful. If there was some sort of mathematical equation for beauty, I don’t know if I would be the algorithm. I’ve always been OK with that. I’m not a supermodel. That’s not what I do. What I do is music. I want my fans to feel the way I do, to know what they have to offer is just as important, more important, than what’s happening on the outside."
On Madonna:
"Who's to say I'm anything like her at all? Who's to say that my ambitions are even the same as hers? Who's to say I'm not an entirely different person? Because I am. You have to understand, I was a waitress five years ago."
On Being Confident:
"I'm confident in who I am. I've come to a place in my life where I've accepted things that are me, as opposed to feeling pressure to explain myself to people around me. That's just the way I've always tried to be. It didn't change when I became a star."
On Her Artistry:
"An artist is the only thing I want to be. I only want my freedom and my creativity. It's all that I live for. I reject the idea that I have to take all [the costumers and makeup] off to be f***ing authentic."
On How the Public Perceives Her:
"It doesn't p*** me off because they don't know me so well, so it's easy for them to draw conclusions and it's their right to. How can they know anything different? But I tried to be as honest with myself as possible. Be realistic with who I am and what I love to do and what makes me happy."
On Her Party-Free Lifestyle:
"Recently, I've become like a square. I hate partying. I've been so bored with it. Maybe it's because its the same music every night. I don't know y'all feel me? I don't know, maybe we need some more DJ's or something.
On Her Successful Career:
"You work hard and you play hard. I've definitely been working a lot in the last 8 years, it's been a lot of hard work, but I love it. I love doing what I do. I have a lot to celebrate, so you will catch me celebrating every once in a while because I work hard. I love what I do and I put my focus into that. That's my priority. Being number 1 never gets old. It actually puts a lot of pressure on you. It's a challenge in itself. It keeps me busy but I love it."
On Happiness:
"You can undo a lot of things. If you're not happy, you can become happy. Happiness is a choice. That the thing I really feel."
On Her Fiance, Justin Theroux, & His Paternal Instincts:
"Justin has extremely amazing paternal instincts. Because [growing up] he had to sort of become the parent. I think when you have to become a parent when you're a younger person, you learn those instincts."
